


Fuck the Chantry

by TheReviewess



Series: Heroics Run In The Family [13]
Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: F/F, Mother-Daughter Relationship, Sassy Inquisitor, The Chantry (Dragon Age)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-29
Updated: 2018-11-29
Packaged: 2019-09-02 08:23:56
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,800
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16783261
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheReviewess/pseuds/TheReviewess
Summary: The so-called Herald of Andraste has some choice words for Rodercik. These words have been passed down from one great elf to the next generation, and young Lavellan feels the need to share them.





	Fuck the Chantry

“You know what, Chancellor!” Faenra hollered, now stepping up to the man. “I have some words and I wish to share them with you!”

“And pray tell, what would those words be?” The Chancellor sneered.

In this moment, Faenra wished that she was a human. Just so that she didn't have to look up to the man that she was insulting, or about to insult. It certainly would have helped with the intimidation factor. Sadly, she would have to suffer being a very small elf. Though, Fae had to admit, her mother was quite intimidating, and also shorter than her. So, who knew? Faenra might be able to make this work out in her favor.

“I was once told a story by a very great woman. She said these words which spoke to me, just now. So, in the words of the greatest woman that I know, ‘Fuck you, and fuck your Chantry.’”

While that likely didn't win her any cheesie (or Brownie as Shema claims all the shem say) points with Cullen (who just looked at her in horror, probably), it sure felt good to say that. Also the look on the High Chancellor's (or whatever the fuck he was) face was absolutely worth it. She would be totally willing to sacrifice any amount of cheese just to see that look. Faenra made a mental note to remember this exact moment, to dwell on it, savor it, and save it and the far reaches of her memory so that she might draw upon it during a very bad day, or very bad moment in her life, sometime in the future. Oh yes, the dumbstruck look combined with angry, indignant sputtering was absolute perfection. She was definitely writing her mother about this one.

Faenra was pulled from her thoughts, completely ignoring the sounds coming from the Chantry Shem… thing, when her Shema called out for her. For a brief moment, dread filled the so-called Herald's bones, realizing that the words just said were not kind to the organization to which her Shema swore her life to. But there worries were unfounded. Upon turning to face the Spymaster, Fae noticed the barest hint of a grin, and in that moment, Faenra knew she was safe.

“If you will excuse me, Commander,” Faenra said quickly, doing her best to ignore the equally dumbstruck look on his face and ducking off to face easily the most terrifying woman to walk Thedas. Her mother.

Ducking into the tent, Fae followed Leliana back to her tables until the Spymaster turned. She leaned back, letting her hands rest on the surface and her weight press against it. She even went as far as to cross one leg over the other, giving off a very casual vibe. It was very Shema of her. If anyone else saw it, they would probably be shocked.

“You do realize how unwise your course of action was,” Leliana stated as a smile threatened to break through her normally impassive mask. But even with her straight face, her eyes glittered with amusement. Perhaps even a hint of pride could be detected? Faenra wasn’t sure.

“I dunno, screaming 'Fuck the Chantry’ seemed to work for the last great elf that did it. I thought it might help me out,” Faenra said with a teasing grin. It was lopsided, making her look like a loveable teenager instead of the adult she was supposed to be.

“That would imply that you are actually great,” Leliana fired back.

The young so-called Herald reared back, clutching at the right side of her chest, “you wound me! My heart! Oh how your wicked words hurt my heart!”

“Your heart is on the other side of your chest.”

Faenra looked down and realized her mistake. “So it is.” Quickly, she adjusted her hands accordingly and continued, now pretending to sink to the ground in agony. “Oh my heart! How could you say such cruel words!”

Her dramatic antics brought joy to the Bard. That smile finally broke through, and she even offered a laugh as compensation. She clapped a few times, grinning as she did so, “Bravo. Excellent show, da'len. You would make an excellent actress.”

Recovering, Faenra grinned back. “I wonder who I got that from.”

Blue eyes narrowed but the grin remained, “I have no idea what you are insinuating.”

“None? None at all? Are you absolutely sure of that?” Fae asked her, batting her big blue eyes and leaning towards the Bard like she was taught so many years ago.

“Brat.”

She couldn't deny that one. In that moment, Leliana regretted teaching Faenra those little tricks. Even if they served her well now. It just went to show how well the girl learned under Leliana and Aerinwyn’s tutelage. She was certainly more cultured than any other of the Dalish, and with time she could make as skilled a player as her mother.

“Do you feel better for telling off the Chancellor?”

“Can I do it again?” Faenra asked eagerly, already planning what equally offensive thing to say to him.

“No.”

Welp, there went all her hopes and dreams for the next forever. At least she got him good those time around. Though, Cullen probably hadn't expected those words to fly out of her mouth either. Fae probably should apologize for offending him, if she did… but on second thought, perhaps not. Her Shema had mentioned that she and Mamae meet Cullen back during the Blight and asked them to slaughter the rest of the Mages in the Circle in Ferelden. So, maybe she would hold off until she knew the guy better. If he wasn't a complete arsehole, she would apologize. If he was a dick, then she wouldn't. More so, she would endeavor to make even worse statements around him just to piss him off. Good plan, nice job Mahariel… Lavellan…

Maintaining a cover story was hard. How did her parents do it?

“Fine. But if an opportunity presents itself, I'm not going to just let it pass.” Faenra decided, trying to bargain with the best bargainer known to human and elfkind. Or at least, known to Faenra.

“You are a grown woman, Faerna. You can do as you please, regardless of how wise that may be.”

Faenra grumbled. “I hate it when you get all diplomatic on me.”

“I know.” The woman chirped out, now turning back to her work. It was her subtle way of telling Faenra to go away without actually saying that. Because her Shema was polite, or something. Though, if your not-wife was Aerinwyn Mahariel (they really needed to get bonded or whatever it’s called), and your adoptive kid was, well, the  _ kid  _ of Aerinwyn Mahariel, then someone had to be the polite one of the lot.

“Any tips for Val Royeaux?” Fae asked, already backing out of the tent.

“Try not to walk into Cafe's smelling like burning Darkspawn, bile, necrotic flesh, and an assortment of other terrible smells.”

“That was  _ one  _ time!” Faenra protested. She was fifteen! Of course she had bad ideas then! Cut her some slack! She's gotten better over the years, right?

Maybe not, according to the side-eye Shema was giving her.

“Just..  _ try _ and listen to Cassandra. And  _ don't _ antagonize her.” Leliana pleased with the young elf.

“Your faith in me is astounding, She- Shem. Truly.” Okay, so that wasn't her best recovery. Leliana was thoroughly unimpressed with her abilities. So maybe she did need to listen more. Darn. “Okay, I get it! I will be on my best behavior.”

Leliana didn't make any comment this time. Usually it was because she was thinking something that was not polite to say. Or that she was satisfied with the answer given. Faenra only hoped that in this case, the woman was satisfied.

“Alright, I'm out… love you…” Faenra mumbled, making sure to keep quiet. Elf ears weren't the only ones that picked up on a lot, and neither Fae nor Leliana were keen on anyone knowing of their… familial ties. For both of their sakes.

“I love you too, da'len. If you have time, do pick me up some of that perfume I like. You know the one.”

“I should hope so. I found it!” The young elf bragged.

Faenra and Aerin were absolutely hopeless in that perfume shop all those years ago, but they wouldn't give Leliana the satisfaction of knowing that. They had spent so much time in there smelling everything, that they had the worst headache for the rest of the day. The two of them had to leave the store and come back a few different times just to clear out their noses. Eventually they stumbled upon a perfume that was made with Andraste's Grace and they just knew.

Fae remembered her mother slapping down the coins for the bottle of perfume and how proud they were that they actually managed to find something. Even now, Fae remembered finding it amongst the hundreds of smells in the tiny shop. How she bragged for weeks that she found the perfume that smelled exactly like her Shem-ma's favorite flowers.

Come to think of it, that was the first time Faenra called Leliana her Shem-ma. She didn't even realize she had said it until her mother asked her about it once they left. It was just a simple question, and Faerna had given an equally simple answer and the two never really spoke of it. And from what Faenra remembered, her mother must not have mentioned their brief conversation to Leliana, because the redhead was stunned when the words fell out of Faenra's mouth later on.

“You have much better taste than your mother,” Leliana teased.

“We have equally terrible taste. Don't lie.”

That made Leliana laugh, for it was the truth. Josephine would do well not to let Faenra choose any of her own clothes. Ever. The poor thing knew nothing of fashion.

“You better get going or Cassandra will have your head.”

Faenra grumbled something that Leliana couldn't quite make out, but it definitely sounded like 'the slave-driver’. Faee knew she probably shouldn't be saying such things about her Shema's friend, but she couldn't help it. Cassandra was on her ass about everything. It got annoying really quick. Her Shema didn't give any indication that she heard Faenra, but then again, she never did… until you least expect it. Usually she waited until the perfect opportunity to make a good joke, at least she did back home. But, being all spymaster-y, she might just use that against Fae. Suddenly, Faenra felt it was best to actually leave now

“Okay, bye!”

“Have fun, Faenra.”

“Well I'm not allowed to stink up any Cafe's, so that might be hard.”

“Brat.”

The elf wandered away, giggling at her dumb joke, leaving Leliana to her work.


End file.
